


Been Through Too Much

by LifeThatisGood



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6035875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeThatisGood/pseuds/LifeThatisGood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Added scenes that take place after Hope’s death when Trish goes to pick Jessica up. Basically a close look at the friendship between these two characters at a place in the show where I think there should have been more shown. POV is always 3rd person limited but switches b/w following Trish and Jess for each chapter (2 each; 4 total).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At the Restaurant (Trish) 1/4

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeeee never written anything before, but dear god I love this show and these characters. So whatever here goes nothing :)

# Been Through Too Much

### At the Restaurant (Trish) 1/4

Even 100 yards away in her car, Trish could tell Jess was barely holding it together. To be fair, she had been through 3 hours straight of police questioning. And that was after a week of not sleeping (maybe a month...maybe 6 months). Trish bit her lip, scowling concerned and watching through the car window as the police questioned Jess. At least three guys were grilling her, leaning over her, narrowing their eyes. By the way Jess was squinting and flinching away from them, they must be yelling at her. Trish felt a jolt of anger followed by a rush of concern. _She’s been through too much._ Working into the ground trying to save this girl, Hope and now she’s dead. Jess looked like she was on the brink of breaking down. She had her arms wrapped around herself, she was doubling over, and even from her car, Trish could tell she was shaking.

Trish couldn’t take it anymore, and she could tell Jess was at her breaking point. She recognized the signs of a PTSD-fuelled panic attack even though it had been months since she’d seen Jessica experience one. Yanking the keys out of the ignition, she jumped out of her car and jogged over to where this interrogation was taking place. She walked right up to Jess, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Jess immediately, almost involuntarily, collapsed into her, and Trish placed her other hand on Jessica’s arm to stabilize her.

  
“We’ll be back in a bit, ok” Trish called to the officers already starting to lead Jessica towards her car.

“HOLD up. We are in the middle of an interview here” one of the officers moved to block her.

“You’ve had enough, ok. She’s been through a lot today” Trish looked him directly in the eyes half way between commanding and pleading. Unlike Jess, she had a gift for moving people...getting them to see her side. Although it wasn’t looking like this guy was going to budge.  
“She’s a person of interest in the death of this girl and in 3 other deaths this week. She’s not going anywhere.”

“Please, officer,” She tried again. She knew how long it took to come out of a panic attack once you were in, and Jess needed to get out of here now. “Can she have an hour break? I swear she will be back to finish this interview.” She couldn’t believe these assholes.

The officer looked at Jess who was looking down, still leaning heavily on Trish and visibly shaking, “You have an hour. And there will be legal consequences if we have to hunt her down”

Trish was already leading Jess away from the scene to her car. Jess was barely able to walk straight in a combination of sheer exhaustion and the trauma of Hope’s death. Trish opened the passenger side door and helped Jess into the seat. Almost immediately, removed from the yelling cops and Hope’s body, Jess collapsed in on herself. Trish crouched down besides the open door, one hand on Jess’ knee and the other softly rubbing her back. 

“Hey, breathe,” Trish reminded gently, “you’re ok.” She’d seen this enough during the ‘After Killgrave’ period of their lives to know that her hyperventilated breathing was an indication this was turning into a full on PTSD-fuelled panic attack and that Jess was probably experiencing flashbacks of Kilgrave torture or Hope’s body or god knows what else. At Trish’s reminder, Jess managed a shaky and choked half breath. As much is it hurt to see Jessica break down, there was very little Trish could do except ride it out with her. She wracked her brain for any story to tell since she remembered focusing on someone else’s voice helped sometimes. She stayed by Jess’s side until her breathing started to slow down.

Ten minutes later, Trish could tell Jessica was calming down, but she was rattled. Tears were streaming down her face, an occurrence so rare Trish wasn’t sure when it had last happened. But her breathing was normal and she was forming sentences.

“Sorry for being so goddamn pathetic,” she muttered, making no move to wipe her tears away from her face.

“Hey, no, you are not pathetic. You are way stronger than anyone should reasonably be after a day like this, ok?”

No response. 

“You know this wasn’t your fault, right? about Hope? You were unconscious when he got out. There’s nothing more you could have done. And you gave her more than anyone else.”  
Jessica finally made eye contact, “If it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t have a goddamn case. and she definitely wouldn’t be dead.”

Trish pushed gently off of Jess’s leg to stand up and walked around to the driver’s side of the car, rolling her eyes at Jess’s stubborn self-loathing. She got into the driver's seat and shut the door. Looking back to Jess, she could really see how absolutely exhausted her friend was. Although her breathing had returned to normal, she was still squinting like she had a headache and shivering slightly. She placed her hand back on Jess’s knee lightly and said again, “This was not your fault,” hoping one of these days the message would sink it. Glancing at her phone, she noticed the time and remembered she told those officers that Jess would finish her interview in exactly 11 minutes. Damn it, Jess needed food and sleep and not an interrogation.

“Alright let’s go deal with these officer guys and then we’ll go home and get some sleep ok? They’re just trying to do their jobs, they know you didn’t hurt Hope,” Trish said, trying to keep the anger and dread out of her voice. “Come on just get it over with. You’re going to be ok.”


	2. At the Car (Jessica) 2/4

Jessica braced herself to exit the quiet comfort of Trish’s car, and face the outside world where the girl she had fought so hard to save was dead. She pushed the thought-- all thoughts-- out of her head and pushed the passenger side door open. She felt Trish lift her hand from where it was resting above Jess’s knee and immediately Jess felt less grounded. 

“I’ll be right here, ok,” Trish said bracingly. “Just tell them what they want to hear and get out. They can’t hold you there without charges and they know it.”

Jessica turned to walk back to the police cars who were still at the crime scene an hour later, when she heard Trish call back to her. “Jess you’re going to be ok, right? Remember to breathe if they trigger anything for you ok?” 

Jess tried to come up with a snarky response to her sensitive phrasing, but her brain felt like scrambled eggs and she couldn’t form any words even though she knew saying nothing would make Trish more worried. 

She reached the crime scene area where 4 cop cars were still blocking off the restaurant and and surrounding area. She tried to focus through the lights and noise and block out images of Hope’s body screaming at her. 

“Who the hell are you. You can’t be here,” an unfamiliar cop called at her, as he stepped in front of her preventing her from walking any further.

“Um hello you assholes told me i’d get charged with obstruction of justice if I didn’t come finish my statement. Get out of my goddamn way,” she retorted angrily.

The cop grabbed her arm and sneered at her, “you’re gonna get hit with obstruction just for that attitude, lady.”

Jess jerked her hand back reflexively, shuddering at his touch. She could feel her breath starting to catch and had to close her eyes for a second to get a grip. “Sorry,” she muttered “look, can I just finish talking to those guys over there so I can get out of here?”

Just then one of the guys who was interviewing her before recognized Jess and beckoned her over. “Look i’m sorry about yelling before, ok. That was uncalled for and I we know now that you didn’t have anything to do with this. We just want to know what happened so please step over here and talk to my colleague for few minutes ok? 

“Yeah sure whatever.” Jess replied and moved around the corner towards where he was pointing. She didnt know what kind of good cop bad cop bullshit they were pulling. What happened next was basically another 45 minutes of cops, and not the nice one, questioning her, reminding her of every detail of the scene, the death, the suspicious circumstances.

Jess couldn’t even focus on their asshole questions over Kilgrave flashing in her head and screaming her name into her brain. She resorted to repeating, “I don’t know” over and over until they finally let her go. 

She couldn’t remember walking back to Trish’s car but the next thing she knew she was back in her passenger seat, and her brain was finally starting to uncloud in the safety of the car. Her relief at having normal thinking capability restored was rapidly under cut as all the images she had been blocking with all her effort started to trickle back into her consciousness. 

 

“You ok, Jess?” Trish asked gently, “lets go home so you can get some food and sleep, k?”

Trish rummaged around in the back seat, found a box of kleenex and pushed it into her hands, pausing to squeeze her shoulder gently before reaching for her seatbelt and putting the keys in the ignition. Jess hadn’t even noticed she was crying until then. That’s embarrassing, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. 

The further they drove, though, the better Jessica felt. And by the time they pulled up to Trish’s apartment, her stomach was rumbling with hunger and and she was actually chuckling at Trish’s jab about getting dinner at the liquor store.


	3. At the Apartment (Trish)

About an hour and a hot shower later, Trish was sitting next to Jess on her couch trading take-out boxes and flipping through late night talk show channels. Jess’s wet hair was dripping on the cushions, and even though she was pounding Wild Turkey down, she looked better than she had earlier. 

Trish did notice how dark the circles under Jess’s eyes had gotten. Or maybe she was just paler? Definitely way too sleep deprived. “So which side of the bed do you want? I’m about to pass out” Trish said through a totally genuine yawn. Just looking at Jessica was making her tired.

“Oh, I don’t have to stay here. I’ll just run home,” Jess replied suddenly, an almost panicked expression passing over her face.

“What? No, you’re not going anywhere It’s late and you look like you’re about to collapse. Plus,” she turned to look at Jess properly, “you’ve a rough day.”

“I’m fine,” Jess looked down.

“I know you’re fine. You’re the strongest person in the world, but also... it’s ok if you’re not.”

Jessica paused for a long time, taking another gulp of whiskey, “I just... don’t want you to have to deal with me again. If you think I’m a goddamn mess during the day you should see me try to sleep. You don’t have to deal with me crying all night. Or I don't know... bludgeoning you in my sleep or something. I’m already ruining your life. I’m going ho-“ she slid off the couch, as Trish cut in.

“Jess stop jesus it’s me ok? Sit down. I want you to stay, you’re not ruining anything, and I feel better with you here too. Crying all night or not.”

Jessica sank back into the couch a little bit closer to Trish. “I’ll take the couch at least. One of us should get some sleep.”

“Has it been bad the last week?” Trish asked softly, “The nightmares I mean. Are they back?”

Jessica didn’t answer but her face said enough. Her forehead was bunched and she looked stressed again. 

“Trust me,” she replied finally, “You don’t want to be anywhere near me at night. It’s like a non stop horror show and I can’t make it stop. Can’t imagine it will be any better tonight after all that…” She trailed off. 

“I’m right here if you want company even if it’s 2am. Seriously, Jess. You don’t have to deal with everything alone.” Trish rolled her eyes at her friend’s stubbornness. She was so down on herself that Trish was tempted to pull her into a hug, but she knew Jess wasn’t the touch-y type. She had a buffer zone that she rarely let down. 

Trish cleared their containers off the coffee table, throwing the leftovers into the fridge. She grabbed an extra comforter out of the linen closet and felt around on the top shelf for a pillow. Grabbing it she walked back to the living room and tossed it playfully at Jessica’s head. Jess rolled her eyes back at her, the hint of a smile on her face. She scooted to a lying down position on the couch and curled up with her head on the pillow. Trish lay the comforter over her gently. “I’m here if you need anything else ok?”

“Thank you” Jessica muttered closing her eyes.


	4. At night (Jessica) 4/4

Predictably, the moment Jessica was alone in the dark with her eyes closed, the only thing she could see was Hope dying in her arms. Again and again. A movie loop from hell, interspersed with flashes of Ruben and of course Reva. She could feel the blood on her hands and her stomach churning--hear herself scream. Opening her eyes rapidly, she had to clap a hand over her mouth and squeeze her hand into a fist to prevent herself from actually screaming.

 _Well_ , she thought breathing hard, _I tried. Sleep is not in the books for tonight._

She should have just taken Trish up on the offer to share her bed. She wasn’t really sure why, but Trish had a calming effect on her that worked better than weeks of therapy. Being in the same room as Trish made her feel like she wasn’t a worthless piece of shit for a second. A nice change of pace. Now all she wanted to do was crawl into bed with the only person who made her feel ok. But she couldn’t bring herself to bother Trish, worry her; to disturb her after everything she’d already put Trish through.

Jessica rolled onto her back and lay there with her eyes open, all the effort of her exhausted brain working on blocking out Kilgrave. On staying awake so her flashes wouldn’t penetrate her subconscious. She ran through all those asshole quack exercises in her head. Focusing on breathing, counting 5 seconds inhale, 5 seconds exhale, reciting the street names around her childhood home in order, counting her heartbeats. It must have worked because she drifted off without realizing what was happening, her over-worked brain shutting down and finally succumbing to sleep.

The nightmare world was even worse than the panic-attack fueled flashes of her awake brain. In the nightmare, Kilgrave was there whispering in her ear. Forcing himself onto her. Hope was dying in her arms. Trish was dying in her arms. There was blood everywhere. Her chest hurt. Her lungs were collapsing inward and her stomach was squeezing.

Kilgrave was touching her, shaking her. Her eyes flew open and she sat up, screaming, blind with panic. She yanked her arm out of kilgraves grip, and moved to wipe the blood off her hands. Except she didnt have blood on her hands. And she wasn’t with Kilgrave she was on a couch in Trish’s apartment. She should stop screaming. She should breathe. These thoughts entered her brain slowly, like they were pushing their way through cement drying in her head.

Jess bit down hard on her thumb, trying hard to shake herself out of hysteria but the cement in her brain was hardening and she couldn’t clear her thoughts. Couldn’t see straight. Suddenly Trish was at her side, and half of her screamed thank GOD while the other half sank in numbing shame. She hadn’t wanted Trish to wake up, see her like this again. It was so goddamn pathetic.

“I’m ok, Trish, sorry for waking you up,” She managed to get out unconvincingly in a shaking voice between gasps of air, “you can go back to sleep i’m fine.”

Trish sank next to her slowly and gently touched her arm. Immediately, Kilgrave’s touch flashed in her mind and she jerked away in horror before she could get a grip.

And then, too tired and panicked to keep up her wall or any pretense of toughness or sanity she collapsed, hugging her knees and sobbing.

Trish moved in closer to her, hugging her tightly with one arm and squeezing her knee with the other, and Jess leaned into her friend’s shoulder, already feeling more safe, grounded.

They sat like that for another minute, until Jessica could shake herself out of it, compose herself. Well relatively. Composed might have been stretching it.

“Do you want to talk through it?” Trish asked.

Jessica shook her head and tensed a little involuntarily at the thought. She knew she should. And that Trish would help. But she wasn’t ready. Not when she still had so much to fight. Not when she was this tired. She also knew she needed to sleep. She probably hadn’t slept more than a couple restless hours in the past 5 days.

Seemingly reading her mind, Trish said, “I think I have something that can help you sleep. Seriously if I can find these things they knock you out. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before now, sorry.”

Jessica was willing to try anything at this point even though the thought of sleeping tonight seemed ridiculous at this point, sleeping aid or not. She allowed herself to be helped off the couch by Trish and led into Trish’s room. Trish sat her down on the bed and left to go grab her sleeping pills. She came back with a glass of water too, which she handed Jessica. Jessica popped 3 and looked up at Trish, “thank you.”

Jessica wondered if Trish could hear the slight, lingering tremor in her voice, and one look at her face made the answer to that question obvious. “It’s ok Trish, i’m going to be fine. Its just sleep deprivation. it’s like a endless cycle of hell.”

Something about Trish’s presence and the way she looked at her with concern, but also with complete faith of her sanity and strength, made her continue. “I don’t know how to turn off my brain. The minute I close my eyes it’s like a movie in my head of everything he’s ever done to me. Made me do.”

“It’s not always going to be like this, Jess,” Trish whispered back, “you’re going to get through it. For now, there’s drugs and there’s me. Stay here. sleep right here, and I’ll wake you up if you start dreaming.”

The panic of before subsiding, Jess again felt the full force of her exhaustion, now drug-aided, hit her hard. She lay down on the bed on her back, not sure she was ready to face the horror of sleep, but knowing she needed it. She rolled onto her side facing Trish, who pulled the covers over both of them. And finally, beside her best friend who had promised to shake her out of the nightmares, Jessica Jones slept fully and dreamlessly for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thats all for this one. Thanks SOOO much for reading my first ever thing. :)


End file.
